Just as an FYI, Colin Montgomery uses graphite shafts and no one could accuse him of being an ordinary tour player.
LowPost42 has pretty much covered all the bases regarding the current state of graphite shafts. I think the the prejudice you see with graphite shafts stems from when they originally came out a few decades ago (early 70's I think) when the manufacturing technology produced graphite shafts that behaved inconsistantly. Since then, as you would have expected, graphite shafts are as consistant as steel shafts but offer a different weight/torque profile that is suitable for either slower swings or faster, smoother swings.
I'm with LowPost42 on your mates bagging you out for using what they see as old man's shafts. They obviously believe the hype that they are playing with the same equipment as the pros when the reality is that they aren't even close.
While shafts are very important in producing the sort of feel you want, having forged
irons also make a large difference.