The Empty Jar

I thought we'd shown too many signs of getting serious on here, so:

The Empty Jar

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. "Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

"We even called up Arlene, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked, "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied,
"Yep, None of us could get the jar open." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I firmly believe that we should try to experience all that life affords, except, perhaps, bestiality and of course Morris Dancing.

Good one Robin

A businessman stayed at a hotel for the night. He found a card in his room that said "Madam ZaZa, Indian Head Masseuse. Ring 078865 863471 for a session in your hotel room"

So he rang the number and a woman's voice answered asking him how she could help. He said I would like you to come to my room, give me a head massage and rub me all over in oil, I would then like to give you a portion with your head out the window.

She replied "Maybe you would Sir but you have to dial 9 for an outside line"

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Best Regards
Brian

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Funny o'l game!

One woman to her friend "What does your As* Hol* do when you have an orgasm" The friend answered "He is normally playing golf"

A doctor said - I need a sample of your sperm, urine and stool...

Patient- I'm in a hurry, so can I leave my underwear instead?