Best Quotes About Golf

Hello all!

Just as a bit of fun I'd like to increase my own personal library of great golf quotes/anecdotes.

I'll start the ball rolling with some of my favourites (along with some good ones I've found on the net) that you've probably all heard before but feel free to add more!

• "No putt ever got longer as a result of being marked" Leslie Neilsen
• When Ben Hogan knocked a practice shot stiff at the par 3 12th hole at Augusta, his partner asked what club he had hit. He replied "The right one" and then proceeded to hit all manner of shots with all manner of clubs into the same green.
• Another Ben Hogan classic: playing a par 4 in competition he faded his drive down the left side of the fairway and made par. The following day, in identical conditions, he came to the same hole and drew his tee shot down the right. His partner asked why he had done that when he succcessfully navigated the hole by playing a fade. He responded "I didn't want to end up in my divot from yesterday".
• "Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than nineteen years of dealing with him across the desk." Grantland Rice
• "I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine." Bruce Lansky
• "Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes." Dave Marr
• "I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them" Harry Tofcano
• "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it." Jimmy Demaret
• "You can't lose an old golf ball." John Willis
• "Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well." Craig Stadler
• "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
• Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot
  rarely make a perfect shot
• "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." Jack Lemmon
• Ben Hogan to Sam Snead playing against him in the World Matchplay whilst beating him comfortably: "Sam! Put that God-damn driver away!"
  

__________________
Luke: I don't believe it!
Yoda: That is why you fail.