Good golf joke

Heard this on the range tonight.

An enthusiastic American golfer on holiday in Ireland, employed the services of an Irish caddie. From the first tee he was all over the place. Left, right, hook, slice. By the time they reached the par three 11th, he was really frustrated. He said to the caddie "I think i will throw myself in that lake and drown myself. To which the caddie replied: " I dony think that would do you much good, You wouldnt keep your head down!!

A man was talking about his round of golf with three of his buddies, he was saying his latest round of golf was the first time he didnt have to search for a golf ball.....then added, everytime he hit a shot, his buddies would say, "I wouldn't bother looking for that one"

lol there all good i am sure there was a huge thread about this but im not sure!

nice jokes

adz

An American went to Scotland and played golf with a newly acquainted Scottish golfer. After a bad tee shot, he played a "Mulligan" which was an extremely good one. He then asked the Scot, "What do you call a Mulligan in Scotland?"

"We call it hitting 3"


There's more where that came from.

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5--iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes", says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know...five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a five."

There it is! My all-time-favourite!

Two guys are playing golf, one of the guys pulls out a golf ball from his bag and says look at this special ball, you can never loose it, if it's in the rough it puts out a high pitch sound so you can find it, if it goes into the water it comes to the surface and makes it's way to the edge of the water, I've even played in the dark and when you hit it, it changes colors and puts out a bright light so you can see it. The other guy says thats great, man I've got to have one, where can I get one? The guy with the ball says, "I have no idea, I found this one"

One more....

A gushy reporter told Jack Nicklaus, "You are spectacular, and your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the golf course. What's your secret?"

Nicklaus replied, "The holes are numbered."

a man and a woman just made love in a plush hotel room, afterwards the man got up to which the woman said where you going? the man said I'm going to take a shower. The woman said I made love to Jack Nicklaus last week and after we made love he stayed and we made love a second time. the man not wanting to be out done by Jack Nicklaus made love to her a second time. After he got out of bed to which the woman said where you going? The man said to take a shower and order some food. The woman said after she and jack made love the second time he splashed water on his face and they made love a third time. The man once again not wanting to be out done by Jack Nicklaus made love to her a third time. After he got out of bed to which the woman said where you going? The man replied I'm going to give Jack a phone call to see what's par for this hole.

Now THAT's funny.

that is great i like it that is getting remembered

adz

I was afraid it was going to mention something about the back 9. Guess the joke is cleaner than my mind.

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"

The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts his ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball a few yards.
The young man says,"I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."