How to fix my son's head bobbing ?

Now That's pretty good advice, Martin. I agree - the deal is that I play with him & that's what he wants. Of course, there are a lot of "rules" about golf, where to stand, when to talk, keeping pace with the others, when to pick up, etc. - but I agree entirely that everything besides playing with him is essentially breaking our primary objective. I can give him tips about head bobbing on the driving range. period.

But I still think it's a good idea to trick him into playing with another 13-year-old who happens to be a junior at a nearby course. They give these kids instruction 30 hours a week in the summer, and I'm sure he' love it if he just made a friend....

You can't trick, beg, nag or anything else and expect to have your son like and commit to the game. All you will wind up with is someone who resents you.
Communication is the key; if you can't get a committment from him to improve through lessons, forget about it. He will either come around on his own or move on to another sport. Head bobbing is the least of your worries.

I also agree with Takinitdeep.

My son is 9, I've got him a 7 iron and a small wood. He loves coming to the rage with me. The first time I just showed him how to grip the club and swing a little. Then left him to it. When he starts to thin it or not hit it properly he tend to stop and watch me for a while, I ask him if I can help him, he normaly says no and watches me then gets back to his game and starts hitting balls again. I know if he wants my help he will ask me, otherwise I just let him have fun, I love just watching him with not a care in the world if the ball goes left or right, and when he realy gets hold of one its nice to see him smiling.

Just let you son find his own way, when he is ready he will ask for help.

Pretty good, guys, it actually gave me some good ideas asking "everyone".

It got away from the head bobbing pretty quickly, but the bigger issue really is how to get kids hooked on golf, and even bigger, how to make sure they enjoy it together with Dad.

I sure agree that massive instructing is a dead end.

Don't really agree about "not tricking him" - he's not going to join the juniors unless he has friend there, and he would definitely say "no" to a planned round with another SonAndDad.

It seems asking around after another SonAndDad is a good strategy - next summer I want him playing on a course instead of staring into a PC....

I guess I’m the odd man out here. It’s been my experience, both as the child and as the adult, that SOMETIMES children, need to be "forced" into a certain activity. The path of my very young life was CRUCIALLY changed at a key point because I was "cajoled" into playing a sport I had no interest in and was gently but firmly "forced" to continue in. After a bit of time, there was a turning point, as there often is, and even at that young age it was CRYSTAL clear what a gift I had been given by my parents. Their foresight, knowing that was EXACTLY the type of activity that I needed to be exposed to at that time. Looking back as an adult, the personal changes that resulted were INVALUABLE to my success and fulfillment and happiness as an adult.

This is not to say that this child should be forced to play golf. That’s not the point. I would never tell someone how to parent THEIR child. This is a personal matter and should always be. We do not all have the same expectations of our children, nor should we. Every child is different and they all have different needs and different personalities and they respond to different styles. Just sharing a story.

Your not the odd man out, kbp - I was thinking about this "tricking" stuff, and I don't know a parent in the world who doesn't "trick" his kids about 80% of life's realities, for years on end, so it's a matter of degree.

And yes, I'm sure that if I leave well enough alone, my son will play xbox instead of playing golf, so I am Not leaving well enough alone.

As they say here in Norway, there's force and then there's force.... (one good, one bad)

Stand in front of him, stretch out your arm and grab his hair tightly

There are so many peer pressures and marketing ploys these days that encourage young people to sit at home with their computers and play stations, eat junk food and get sucked into a general unhealthy lifestyle.

Charles is concerned about how his son could be one of these types and wants to encourage, cajole or what ever it takes within reason to encourage his 12 year old son to benefit from what sport can do for him and understandably he enjoys time out with his boy. Regrettably we no longer live in the golden era that most of us grew up in where parents could leave their offspring to face the world on their own terms.

I have a son who is now a man in his thirties living in the USA who is a keen cyclist, plays golf, was a good county football youth player, plays squash and is a mean snowboarder. As a by-product he seems to get on very well with his old man! Now, when he was younger I had many times when he would rather lie in bed than get out early for an away football competition or would make all sorts of excuses for not going hill walking with his dad etc etc. Some times I needed to be firm and insist on him doing these things, sometimes I had to use a competitive strategy "Come on, lets see if your old Dad can whoop you at squash again" Eventually he came to understand the benefits and is now grateful for our perseverance (His Mum played a big part as well).

Adolescence has it's difficulties for the individual and parents but is natures way of developing us from children to adults. The most precious things in our lives always come at a cost, we can only give it our best shot.

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Best Regards
Brian

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Funny o'l game!

Thanks, guys - just played a couple of days in Sirdal (look at this course)
Sirdal Fjellgolf

Worked like a dog to get my son out, he started by hitting his longest driver ever, (155m), had a great time, and finished by laying 2 shots (2nd for fun) over the lake onto the green 150m away. Never gave advice, let him go for it. Second day, he hit it 175m on first shot, and hit about 15 "garbage balls" at hole 9 (wind against us) trying to hit the green. During the round, he asked for advice, so I said "just try to rotate instead of lift... shoulder under chin to shoulder under chin" (straight from this discussion)!

I got "thanks Dad, I'll try!"

Thanks guys, this is how we'll beat xbox and "Halo 3"....

Did it just like you said... worked pretty well... thnx

Glad to hear you got some results.
2 things I would say:
1) dont trick him, if he finds out he could well stop playing just "to show you" even if he does like it. Kids are strange and illogical!
2) Video his swing for him and compare it to one of the many videos of Tiger/Ernie, etc
If he is standing up as much as you say he is then it should be obvious pretty quickly.

Often we dont realise what our bodies are doing until we can see it for ourselves. This has often helped me with golf and skiing.

good luck and enjoy.

The other thing may check if he continues the problem is his clubs. If they are too big for him, it might force him to stand taller ....

On the other hand I have a habit of droping my shoulder on the downswing when I want to try and hit the ball harder. It is amazing how much farther a nice easy swing.

Forgot to add, that I think every kid is diferent. What works for 1 may not be the way to go with another. I can see for some kids it would be having thier friends along, another might be competition, some take instruction better, some think it is finding fault .... Some learn better watching, others reading and still others experimenting

I think you need to find what connects with your child. My son I challenge him with a fun side bet giving him so many strokes a hole and he is in but just hitting golf ball is boring. On the down side is I am not sure golf is going to appeal to every kid. You might be fighting an up hill battle.

Thanks, guys, I'm going to drop this thread now.

Summary:

1) good advice to not give advice
2) yeah, I'm gonna use all sorts of good tricks to get him out
3) yeah, maybe he won't like golf anyway.
4) yeah, all kids are different, and Dad's Know Best.
5) Got a lot better advice here than I expected. Enjoyed it.

I should mention that I award give him wth a couple dollars for longest drive ever, first GIR, first legit par on par 3, par 4, par 5, etc., and a few bets on hitting unlikely shots (like the green at 150m over water). He loves the challenge, and never even asks for the money afterwords.... (though he's keenly aware of how much I "owe" him...)


Best Regards,
Charles